My Head Is Thor

Review: Thor:

I know, I’m late to the party again. But now that I’ve seen it, I’m glad I waited for the DVD to see this movie.

The movie poster for ThorI’ll say off the bat that I am a big Norse mythology buff, and coming into the movie, I already had low expectations based on the fact that I knew it would never live up to the greatness of its source material.

Oddly enough, though, the mistakes with the mythology — such as the way they seemed to confuse Jotunheim with Niffleheim — didn’t bother me all that much. In fact, I rather liked the sci-fi explanations they gave to the Norse myths. Most of the gods’ portrayals felt right to me, if a little rough around the edges at times, and re-imagining the Rainbow Bridge as a wormhole was quite clever.

In  fact, I thoroughly enjoyed the first twenty minutes or so of the movie that were set purely in Asgard and Jotunheim.

And then the rest of the movie happened.

What follows is a spree of cliche “fish out of water” silliness that I’ve only seen in every sci-fi or fantasy crossover story ever. Even this I could have lived with, as Chris Hemsworth, who plays Thor, is quite charismatic and does an adequate if not stellar job in his role — not that it was a challenging part in any way.

But the movie just keeps spiraling downward. Going in, I at least expected a fun action movie, if not a smart one, but it didn’t even deliver there. The action sequences in this film were few, short, uninspired, and generally uninteresting. Chris Hemsworth, while likable, was not enough to carry the movie as a character piece, so it needed the action to hold the viewer’s attention, but it didn’t work as an action movie, either.

Natalie Portman in ThorI also have to take issue with Thor’s love interest, a scientist played by Natalie Portman.

Now, I like Natalie Portman. I’ve seen her in other things, and I think she’s a very talented actress. Which leads me to wonder what the Hel* happened.

*(Mythology nerds will see what I did there.)

As should be obvious by now, I was not overly impressed with Thor as a movie, and Natalie Portman’s character was easily the most irritating part of it for me. She spends the entirety of the movie doing nothing but gush over Thor like a thirteen year-old girl at a Justin Bieber concert. I just wanted to punch her.

Perhaps the most important of my objections to this movie, though, is the fact that it simply didn’t make any sense. I try to avoid spoilers in my reviews, so I won’t get into specifics, but there are plot holes in the ending that I could drive a bus through.

I will say one good thing about Thor, though. I thought that Tom Hiddleston was very good as Loki. In fact, he was too good.

Tom Hiddleston as Loki in ThorDespite all his sleaziness, selfishness, and pettiness, I ultimately found Loki to be the most likable character in this movie. In fact, due to some of those plot holes I mentioned above, I spent the film’s climactic fight scene hoping Loki would win. Considering Loki was supposed to be the villain, I really don’t think that’s “working as intended,” as we gamers would say.

Overall rating: 4.7/10 Thor has some very good parts, but they are few and far between.

(PS: I did not come up with the title of the review. I wish I had, but I didn’t.)

New article:

WhatMMO has posted another of my articles, Most Famous WoW Players. You can probably guess who made it to number one, but if you need a hint, he has chicken, and he will be your pal for life.

Review: Diablo: The Book of Cain

Review: The Book of Cain:

“The Book of Cain” is the latest tie-in book for Blizzard Entertainment’s Diablo franchise, but it’s not like the others. “The Book of Cain” is not a novel; it has no plot in the traditional sense. It is, instead, a sort of encyclopedia of the entirety of Diablo lore, from Anu and the Dragon, to the creation of Sanctuary, to the Sin War, all the way up to the Dark Wanderer and the destruction of the Worldstone.

The cover art for the new Diablo book, "The Book of Cain"The book is presented as something out of the Diablo universe, a record created by the character Deckard Cain. In fact, Barnes and Noble’s website even lists the author as “Deckard Cain.”

The purpose of this book is obvious. It’s way for people like me, who have little or no prior knowledge of the Diablo universe, to get caught up before the upcoming release of Diablo III. It also offers some new details and insights for those who are familiar with Diablo lore.

For a video game lore geek like me, a book like this is nerdgasmic. I absolutely love learning the history and mythology of any fictional universe — it’s one of the main things that keeps me coming back to the fantasy genre — and Diablo turns out to be above average in the quality of its backstory.

An interior shot of "The Book of Cain," featuring the Lord of Terror, DiabloOne thing I found particularly interesting was the notion that humans are the children of both angels and demons, which explains why they are simultaneously capable of such love and such hate. I was also intrigued by the implication that the High Heavens and the Angiris Council may be just as much of a threat to humanity as the Hells and the seven Evils.

It’s not just the writing that makes “The Book of Cain” interesting, though. The book itself is a work of art, with an embossed cover and rough-cut pages made to resemble parchment. The book is filled with gorgeous artwork depicting all the various lands, monsters, and characters of the Diablo universe. It’s as much a tactile and visual experience as it is a book in the traditional sense.

About the only negative thing I have to say about this book is that it’s almost certainly doomed to have a very limited appeal. Unless you’re a giant Diablo lore geek, a collector, or an aficionado of sepia tone drawings, there’s very little reason for you to pick up “The Book of Cain.”

An interior shot from "The Book of Cain," featuring Tyrael's battle with Tal RashaOverall rating: 8.5/10 “The Book of Cain” won’t appeal to many people, but it’s a must-have for those few who do fit into its targeted demographics.